I really could care less about football. I don’t dislike it. I just have no feelings about it, which is how I honestly feel about most team sports. So naturally while talking about the September issue and the idea of football, all I really could consider incorporating in the issue was tailgating. Offense, defense, AFC, the other conference (drawing a blank here), Pac 10, Pac 12. I have no idea what is what. My only knowledgeable experience with football is tailgating. Tailgate games, tailgate drinks, tailgate style.

I went to my share of Buffs football games while at CU-Boulder, but my real experience in football lies in entertaining. You know, pumping Natty Light into red Solo cups, compiling epic playlists and painting colorful aquatic murals on beer pong tables. My roommates and I had a house a block away from the football stadium, so we were the go-to party for all of our friends — and friends of complete strangers. We had beer pong, flip cup, horse balls (I’m pretty sure this is called something else), horse shoes, and sometimes you could even find us gargoyling on a keg. It was a blast. Sometimes such a blast that I ended up with a sprained ankle or the Boulder Police graced us with a noise violation as we belted “Rocky Mountain High.” All in all, a grand ol’ time.

But, as you can see, my tastes have developed since college (thank god!) to that of a refined adult. Plastic wine glasses and bamboo plates that double as frisbees now are my tailgate go-tos. Our designer Amanda actually helped pick a majority of these items because I am still stuck in college tailgate mode.

Moral of the story: use our tailgate guide. It will make you look classy, even if you aren’t.