marissa hermanson

I have a Facebook tab open on my browser so I can update the magazine’s wall throughout the day while I’m at work. Twitter and Pinterest too, as a matter of fact. So throughout the day, I see updates in these three social media realms. These tools are all good for showcasing different kinds of content: Twitter for quick news tidbits, Pinterest for photo-driven inspiration and Facebook for checking in and updating people on what’s new. Since when did the “what’s new” on Facebook turn into a forum for negativity and oversharing? #TMI

Some of us have made this mistake: oversharing by saying something not-so-positive on Facebook. I’m not suggesting that Facebook should be an optimist’s tool, spurting out happy-go-lucky messages throughout the day (Heaven knows I have done this!). I’m just acknowledging that sometimes there’s a little too much negativity. A year ago, when I had bronchitis, pneumonia and pleurisy (simultaneously, yes), I made a few whiny, pity-me-please shout-outs on Facebook. Now, I look back and cringe. How embarrassing. Telling people how sick I was? Bad idea. Clearly the people who cared were the ones calling, bringing me food and medicine and checking in on me. A cry for help on Facebook was totally unnecessary — and extremely juvenile.

I admit, I’m being judgmental, but a person updating their status does open the door for people to criticize and gawk. Facebook is a (personal) marketing tool, after all. What you put out there is there for all to judge. A death, tragedy, other problem is a personal issue. Who stops and thinks, “Gee wiz, I really should update my Facebook status because I’m so distraught — and everyone needs to know.” Are we so glued to Facebook that we need to tell each and every one our moves, emotions, doubts? Some days I log in and find a feed of negative bloviating: I was fired, my dog vomited, someone broke into my car and stole my iPod Nano. I’m waiting for the day when I log in a find a status update announcing a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. That I’ll believe and “like.” I find myself cringing in embarrassment when reading some status updates.

I’m no social media master, but do have my hands in it as a professional, day in and out. Sitting here, driving content from a professional standpoint makes me see status updates in a different light.

People, keep it positive. Put some thought into what you write. You are sending out messages that represent you. You wouldn’t walk up to a crowd of 700 people and announce the ridiculousness you are writing as your status update on Facebook — or would you?

Status updates I enjoy reading on Facebook:

1. an upbeat moral from your day
2. an interesting or unusual interaction
3. an insightful realization
4. animal pictures (awwww)
5. straight-up wry wit
6. hilarity

What kind of status updates do you like and dislike on Facebook? What kind of tool is it for you? Do you find glaringly negative messages popping up in your news feed? And, lastly, do you find yourself thinking twice about your status updates in an effort to market yourself in a certain light?

Lately I’ve noticed a change in some of my favorite women’s magazines — and, I’m finding it rather upsetting. I opened one of my favorite mags this month and found an article about baby diapers. The last thing I want to read about as a  young woman is babies, parenting — and especially baby diapers. I understand that my feelings may seem a little out of line, but as a journalist who works in the world of women’s lifestyle magazines, I understand that stories such as these isolate a group of women, and can even put a bad taste in their mouths (after all, not all women are mothers). This is just one small example of an overarching trend I’ve noticed since I started reading women’s lifestyle mags and writing for them.

This is the trend I’ve noticed: women’s lifestyles magazines are veering down a path of either Suzy Homemaker domesticity or overt sexuality. Polar opposites, with no in-between. I see this when I judge magazine covers. You are either an innocent housewife-type or object of desire. Compare Good Housekeeping’s and Cosmopolitan’s covers the next time you are waiting in line at the grocery store (it’s down-to-earth mommy vs. airbrushed and implanted celebrity). There are a few women’s lifestyles magazines out there that are somewhere in between — appealing to the everyday women who I know. Those magazines — the ones that reach my definition of the “everyday woman” — are Real Simple and Whole Living. There are other smaller, regional women’s lifestyle magazines that I think do a good job of finding that balance too.

When I was in the ninth grade, my best friend and I sheepishly walked up to a drug store clerk with a Cosmopolitan and put it on the counter. The clerk, who must’ve been in her mid to late 20s, took the magazine, scanned the barcode and put it in a bag for us. Her brow furrowed and she asked in a concerned tone, “How old are you two girls?” We lied and said we were 16 (Yeah, right! I look 16 now.). She shook her head and said, “If I were your moms I wouldn’t be very happy. You shouldn’t be reading this junk.” We rushed out of the store, infuriated and embarrassed. I was more embarrassed, because I knew she was right. I was smarter than that. But, after all, that’s what all the older high school girls were reading, and we were curious as to why.

I see magazines dedicated to women’s health veering down this overtly sexual, body-objectifying path as well. Magazines dedicated to telling women what is most healthy for their body and soul are now saying, “Drop 5 lbs this week: Eat what you love” as a tagline on the cover. This juxtaposed by the positive message, “Radiate confidence in every part of your life.” Skinny = confidence? Another issue of this health-oriented women’s magazine says on the cover, “Feel great every day: tap into hidden energy + talk so people will listen + dress 10 lbs thinner.” So, happiness, feeling confident and attention from others comes from being thin? Some pretty terrible messages to send out to women. I subscribed to this magazines thinking it was what it was four years ago when I was in college. Or maybe my taste has matured?

I’ve left behind most women’s lifestyle magazines for other niche publications that revolve around passions and that make me feel good about myself and my life — peaking my interest, making my mind work, introducing me to new things. Magazines such as Southern Living, Bon Appetit, Everyday Food, Sunset, Anthology, National Geographic, Modern In Denver (which I write for) and Garden & Gun. The only national women’s lifestyles magazines I now read are Whole Living, Real Simple and InStyle. It makes me sad that I need to be so careful when purchasing magazines — that there are so many negative messages and publications that cater to two separate groups of women. What magazine do I go to when I just want to read about being a whole, smart, trendy and sexy woman? Please tell me.

When I pick up magazines that talk about quick weight-loss regimes or 10 ways to look sexy for your man I feel like the editors of that magazine: a.) are morons; b.) think I’m a moron; c.) are sad, soulless and vapid people who are just selling a product and not standing behind an important message. I want something smart yet sexy, trendy yet original that’ll make me a smarter, more fulfilled person — not some contrived content for the kind of woman magazines are trying to convince me I should be.